(bas sans relief)

My brain is a tepid salve, certainly possessing of some healing properties but none that ever work that well on a monday morning.

Not that i've ever been particularly adverse to mondays. i never get those sort of blues (tuesday being the day that usually does me in, smack dab between the onset of a fresh and familiar workaday week and the invariable hump that once was the moment the men came together to gamble, slug whiskey and eat meat...fucking bygone days, broken off by the insufferable squabbling of two married men who should goddamn well know better but don't because wives don't stand for any degree of snivelling machismo no matter what crisis their men may be pursuing). it's just that this morning is so very fucking bright outside and though i don't know that i'm hungover i sure as shit don't feel all that sober.

Perhaps i just needed more sleep.

I always seem to need more sleep.

I'd coddle that up to depression, but i've been have such strange and wonderful dreams the last couple of days i don't feel like i'm trying all that hard to escape from the world i've chosen to live in so much as run off to a place that's better than any one i'll encounter in my waking days.

And yes, i do believe there is a distinction there.

For example...

Two nights ago i had a long and shiftless dream that had me marrying my pic (re: partner in crime, but i'm running late) in an early-morning ceremony somewhere deep in the woods. she asked me on waking. i agreed and followed her smiling, albeit confused (still in my bathrobe, actually), far away where we kissed at the altar of a benevolent farmer whose cows i'd milked just a day or two prior.

And when we left it was a walk in the park. holding hands. not really speaking. not knowing at all what to say. just in awe of the fact that we were forever locked in an inextricable link. in the eyes of man, god and the law.

It felt good.



And when i've finally woken up, i hope some of that joy lingers in me through today. it might help me temper the sunshine.


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