(timely manes)

My brain is the lonely going of a blurred reflection on the puddle out passed the yard where we would have kissed had things not ended up the way they did. the way they are. the way they might still be if only there was an answer riddling just ahead of me.

Possibilities.

That would be the only thing to mark the year so far. the only reason i can see from losing my goddamn mind because, let's face it, this rock and roll killing machine is facing a wall of unexpected duress as the ninety days of sorrow stumble in from the chaos of the mummers and my first weekend away from this stomping ground for what seems like fucking years.

My pic still doesn't know if she loves me. well, she might but there's a mute witness blinding that one. grandpa's lost gone the way of dementia. grandma's on her last legs. peg's gone wide and mom's a fucking mess.

My job sucks, immersed in misery and pretense at every fucking step. my asshole's an enemy so i don't think i can eat much but oatmeal and cigarettes.

And the book's still sitting here in a pile under the desk waiting for a break in the fog that'll light my fucking life like no lover ever could.

Possibilities.

Things i'd lose entirely if it weren't for my shadows. my comrades. my friends. my undying lovers who let me slip it all off in booze drenched moans and smoking travails.

God bless 'em. god love 'em. goddamn them for being just the best party even if i can't remember half a thing.

Because they save me from a life drunk on myself.