(pussy wallows)

My brain is a backstage ashtray full of warming swill and cheap cigars, ignored until the morning's come and long gone from whatever memories the body allows a hangover to retain sway off into the hair of the dog that ripped it's teeth into your balls and convinced you (and will continue to for all the discernable future of a life spent in this goddamn brilliant little city) that you were a king of men in whose wake all the world should tremble.

But i'm feeling much better now.

Two glasses of wine and the usual ploys of working out something worth an editor. it's a pattern all too familiar to me and my p.i.c. (one i'd like to think she forgives in me, though i know it grates her nerves to the point where she'd kick me in the shins in her big girl boots as soon as listen to another word about how the world just can't inspire me when i'm so tore off from another drunk. and she's right to do that. i mean, for fuck's sake, at my age i should learn to do something better with my time than chase a dream that's faded recently. i should be learning a trade. i should be plying my wares. i should be making more than the pittance i receive from answering phones for advertising agencies. but that's another indecent tirade for a more respectable time...) and it's one i don't feel like repeating all that far into this evening.

I'd much rather muse on kittens, though i don't see as i have all that much concrete to say. been so possessed with this fucking thing it's a wonder i can really aspire to anything else at all.

Seriously.

I just can't fucking stop. the flashing. the kittens. the oscillating nonsense. the kittens. the kittens. THE FUCKING KITTENS THAT HAVE BURRIED THEIR BABY TEETH INTO THE BACK OF SKULL AND WON'T RELENT UNTIL I BOW ONCE AND FOREVER BEFORE THEIR GREAT ARMY OF HELION OVERLORDS AND EVEN THEN...EVEN FUCKING THEN THERE'LL STILL BE THE VENOM COURSING THROUGH MY HAGGARD FRAME. PULSING AND TORTURING MY BIPEDAL VEINS LIKE A HORDE OF MEWING BEASTS RUBBING THEIR FUR ALONG MY PSYCHE UNTIL I GROW A CUTE LITTLE TALE AND A TASTE FOR THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT IN WHOSE BLOOD I SHOULD BATHE AND BECOME THE IMMORTAL!!!!!

THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!!

BOW!!!

KNEEL BEFORE THEM, LEST THEY STRIKE THEIR UNMITIGATED KITTY VENGENCE DOWN UPON THEE WITH A FORCE THE LIKES OF WHICH WOULD SHAKE ZEUS FROM HIS OLYMPIAN SLUMBER!!!

I don't know if that's musing so much as a warning.

Either way, it's from the heart.