(con spiritu)

My brain is a fire come down from the hollywood hills and into the sweet dreams of every plain boy sleeping comfortable in his tenuous grasp on amreican civilization.

Because those were the days i watched it burn, just like i did three years ago. a city of blissful capital coming apart at the seams. a hundred years (and then some) going undone by the mistakes of the next white wave of the hegemonic shift and let me tell you babeez, i was terrified.

Fucking terrified.

Just like i am tonight. thinking about what might fall apart tomorrow. thinking about what fate may come when enough misinformation weighs in on popular opinion(where it matter most...long gone from these stomping grounds that i still call a home) and the world decides to once and finally say fucking no.

It's too late tonight to rationalize. i realize that well and am goddamn glad to fall asleep half drunk and loving pavement as much as i did in the teens when politics was a perifery and existential mishaps were the order of everyday because at least then i understood i was something. i knew well the impotence of my voice (even if i wasn't inclined to acknowledge it). i was a fool and that made me hearty enough to withstand any obstacle.

But today.

Today, my friends, the end of the world may come barrelling down on this nation for the injustice we've done if the outcome isn't right. if white is might and power is priviledge above and beyond the call to duty and service and love of the fucking world we've made and are so very much a part of.

No more half-cocked fantasy. no more teenage kicks. just the means to a bitter end.

I just hope i'm not right.