(hope and sway)

My brain is a phantom limb, flailing out into the darkness. scratching the walls and clasping the air for some precious thing to call its own.

Mine's in seattle this evening and will be past sunday. but that's all right. time and space make better bedfellows than night after night in the same routine (even if i may continue my part in her absence) into days scraping conversation.

Not that it's all really come to that.

In fact, dreadful's about as far as we are from anywhere at all. i think it's the smell of fall to remind me. the connecticut sunset from saturday. but my partner in crime is as precious to me as wine and the words i can write sometimes (often the two stumble down stairwells, intertwined). she's the white flame of the perfect human. the dream of a hungry ghost.

But for me she is real. attainable (in my own way). a phantom i can understand and relate to. a beauty i can hold in my swollen heart.

And when she returns i will hold her in my arms as tight as i would my own life because she is becoming...